Role Models?

     Let me preface this post by saying that I have absolutely NOTHING against heavy people. I understand that the media has a fascination with waif-like women. I also understand that many of the beauty ideals that we are bombarded with daily are unattainable for the average woman. I understand and respect that most of us will never be a size two. I see nothing wrong with that, but the celebration of Gabby Sibide has me a little confused. Why is she celebrated for having a "real" body? Her body is UNHEALTHY. I'm not a dietitian, but she looks to be about 150 pounds overweight. The media tells us that most Americans look like Ms. Sibide. They also praise her for being comfortable in her own skin. I applaud her body confidence. I'm a size two and I have trouble mustering up confidence quite often. Her confidence is all I will applaud. I would not want my daughter to aspire to be her weight and to be fair, I don't want her to look like Kate Moss either. There has to be a balance and it seems that Americans don't know where that happy median is. I'm sorry, but I could not continue to sit back and ignore it any longer... I'm just sayin...

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Recently I went to Wet Willies to get uber-wasted with friends. This led to a very interesting conversation about the classification of D!CK. (Don't judge us lol) So I figured I would inform the masses of our synopsis... The GOOD, The BAD, The UGLY:

The BAD:

How To Identify It:  Generally the owner of the BAD D!ICK brags incessantly about how spectacular he is, don't be fooled. He sux!! He lacks rhythm, technique, form, and pacing skills. Sometimes he climaxes entirely too early. Other times he lasts for hours, hours, and hours much to your chagrin. Post-Coitus he will feel triumphant and boastful. DO NOT FEED HIS EGO UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! He needs to know how bad it is. Shortly after your encounter with Mr. BAD, you will feel anger, sorrow, hopelessness, and time wastefulness.

The GOOD:

How To Identify It: Good sex is just good sex. The owner of a pretty GOOD D!CK can be tricky. He probably fluctuates between Good, Bad, and Ugly D!ICK. Don't be alarmed. He can be taught. After Good D!ICK you will feel refreshed, happy, appreciative, relaxed, and lucky.

The UGLY:

How To Identify It: The name "THE UGLY" sounds horrible and scary and it very well can be if you are not strong enough to resist the inevitable addiction to it. UGLY D!CK is potent and can literally run you crazy. The owner of the UGLY is cool, VERY COOL. He's unassuming yet confident. After you experience THE UGLY your life will forever be changed. You will feel drowsy, high, disoriented and your clitoris will feel like its eating birthday cake with Jesus. Yes, its THAT serious! I'm warning you! Clear your schedule if you happen to come across THE UGLY and keep those emotions in check.